Miss Carnation

There’s something about birthdays that nudge me to look back and ask: Did I reach the goals I set for myself?  When the answer leans more toward failure.  I don’t dwell— I reflect. I ask myself what went wrong and, more importantly, how can I move forward without creating more damage.  But this year felt different. Instead of looking back, I found myself fully  in the present—preoccupied in the best way, excited about what lies ahead and embrace what’s new. I feel ready, eager even, to turn a fresh page. A New Chapter Begins Last Monday, I turned 57 years old. There's no sweet-talking it-I am most certainly OLD. The idea of getting older, even of mortality—can be unsettling. It’s a thought I often brush aside. But deep down, I know I want to be prepared for it- just in case it comes sooner than expected.  So now, I choose to welcome this new chapter with a grateful heart—and a deeper appreciation for how far I've come. Familiar Feeling Part of my morning ritual ...

"Did you know how shattered she felt the day she had to leave you ?" Aunt Dinds was trying to convince me, but I looked away from her gaze—unaffected and cold. Those words felt fleeting. I never took them to heart. I was only there to get my weekly allowance, nothing more. Why would someone like her cry over me? She was a strong woman, unfeeling and at most time--- cold,  the kind who wouldn’t be bothered leaving people behind. Someone like her wouldn’t shed tears for someone like me. Aunt Yda was my father’s first cousin. She and Aunt Dinds are sisters. Her father was my grandfather’s only sibling, which meant the two families shared a bond deeper than the usual cousin relationship. Growing up, they were aunt  very close. Their homes were not far from each other, so their childhoods were intertwined. They played together every afternoon, shared stories, and had the kind of familiarity that only comes from growing up side by side. Despite that closeness, there was one dif...

A stray kitten crying for help from a tree triggers powerful childhood memories of abandonment, loneliness, and the deep hope that someone kind would finally come to the rescue. Cry for Help I heard the crying behind the concrete wall that separates our house from a wild stretch of land filled with trees and  grass. At first, I pretended not to hear it. I told myself the sound would stop soon.  I tried to ignore it. But the tiny cries kept coming. It was two days before New Year’s Eve—not exactly the best time to bring home another animal. Everything was already busy and chaotic. On top of that, we already had six cats. And every late afternoon, one regular stray shows up at our door for some nibbles. Our small home was already full of whiskers, paws, and hungry mouths.  There was simply no room for another furry baby. Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself. The Peek I Couldn't Resist Still… curiosity won. “I’ll just peek,” I told myself. Just a quick look. So I w...