Turning a New Leaf

There’s something about birthdays that nudge me to look back and ask: Did I reach the goals I set for myself? 

When the answer leans more toward failure.  I don’t dwell— I reflect. I ask myself what went wrong and, more importantly, how can I move forward without creating more damage. 

But this year felt different.

Instead of looking back, I found myself fully  in the present—preoccupied in the best way, excited about what lies ahead and embrace what’s new. I feel ready, eager even, to turn a fresh page.

A New Chapter Begins

Last Monday, I turned 57 years old. There's no sweet-talking it-I am most certainly OLD. The idea of getting older, even of mortality—can be unsettling. It’s a thought I often brush aside. But deep down, I know I want to be prepared for it- just in case it comes sooner than expected.  So now, I choose to welcome this new chapter with a grateful heart—and a deeper appreciation for how far I've come.

Familiar Feeling

Part of my morning ritual is scrolling through Facebook while having coffee. This morning something stopped me mid-scroll.  It was a social media ad for a website that deals with menopause. It was simple, almost ordinary—but it carried familiarity that made me smile.

Those flowers, they looked pleasantly familiar.  Suddenly, I was transported back to sixth grade. Ladies,  do you remember that moment when you were first handed a menstruation guidebook? That tiny booklet that gently told you, 

“You’re growing up now. It's time to embrace the changes in your body  and step into womanhood with confidence".

I remember mine so clearly. 

They have these little smiling flowers on the cover too.  I can still remember the scent of the paper—sweet, a little citrusy, like fresh stationery on the first day of school. It was comforting in a strange, pleasant way.

At the back of the booklet, there was a small packet with a sample sanitary napkin. I think it was Newtex. 

Back then, everything about it felt new, awkward, and a little scary—but also important. Seeing that photo today brought all of it rushing back.

But more than the nostalgia, it was the feeling that stayed with me. That same reassurance and gentle reminder that life moves forward, whether we’re ready or not.  

The First Flow and the Final Pause

The irony is amusing.   Memory of my first menstruation and now menopause  almost brought the same feeling. The beginning and the ending. Young and old. 

Gosh I'm old. 

Suddenly I feel like I'm not at all prepared. And honestly, it still feels surreal. I’m now just three years away from being a senior. That thought can be a little scary. Time really does move fast—faster than we expect, faster than we sometimes want. So when I mentioned earlier that I was excited of my future, was I just masking my fear?  Putting up a brave front? The tug-of-war.

“Growing old is not fading—it’s becoming like a tree: deeper in roots, stronger in storms, and richer in the quiet wisdom of every season endured.”- Unknown

A Full Heart: Growing Older with Gratitude

Fifty seven years.  I’ve made it this far. Not everyone gets to say that. I’m still here—still strong, both physically and mentally. Still curious. Still learning. 

And then there are my children—the best decisions I made in my life.

I used to drive my kids to school, now I walk my son to the garage and watch him drive off to work. I still get to hug him before he leaves. Both my sons are good people, both posses kind hearts. I am lucky to have given  birth to them.  We raised good human beings.   And honestly? That alone makes everything in my life worth it.

So yes, growing older can feel a little scary.

But it’s also beautiful.

Because with it comes memories, growth, love—and the quiet, comforting realization that just like those tiny flowers once promised.   Everything really does turn out okay.

⚘⚘⚘

Hey, by the way, I've just uploaded a video update of my rescue kitten Kermit. Don't forget to check it out.  My cats are my source of joy and I'm sharing them with you!